#Attention - #Breath in #Physical contact with a #Woman instead of #Sex #Beliefs

So, I was in a pool, with a girl, and then I got out of the pool and started to talk with a girl, and I offered her to enter the pool, so we did it, and, I started to play with her, and in a moment we hug ourselves, and then she asks me - pointing to my penis - is everything ok?, and I saw an image of my penis erected, and I thought 'shit I have my penis erected' and I feared her to notice that because of believing that if a women notice my penis erected would get pissed off or simply get away from me - and I just, lol I had the reaction and she embraced myself very tight, and I derived pleasure from my fear - like the fear producing the mental desire to have sex, like 'I need to test it', and well, I was seeing sex and erection as something horrific / incorrect, and then I feared her having sexual interaction without me taking the initiative, so there's an association of superiority within that, like, 'the man needs to take the initiative - the man is superior', so I feared to being in that position of being initiated by a women, and at the same time that produced me pleasure - clearly is self-separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my attention in my thinking-possession because of fearing a woman getting pissed off because of noticing my erection instead of being here in and as breath as the moment as physical attention, without realizing that women is aware of how the male-body functions, so the erection is a point of sexual empathy within an agreement of expressing ourselves sexually.

When and as I see myself diverting my attention to a girl when having an erection in a physical contact - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I suppress myself as the physical here when placing my attention separated from me because of fear, so:

I commit myself to remain here as breath, putting my attention on myself, as myself in every moment of every breath, and placing it in the physical as physical contact with a woman within a partner agreement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the image of my penis erected without seeing it physical, without realizing that there is no point in getting drive by an image because I can check really and physically if my penis is erected.

When and as I see myself in and as the image of my penis erected - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I don't support myself in being here in and as the physical when getting drive by an image instead of physically checking my penis.

I commit myself to establish physical sexual-awareness within my erection, putting my attention in how it physically feels.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as the backchat 'shit I have my penis erected', without realizing that that backchat is in fact a self-interest point of trying to evade making beliefs on the women about me, as perverted, and within this, without realizing that having a penis erection is not being perverted, rather a physical reaction to a physical contact as an agreement with a partner to express ourselves sexually.

When and as I see myself in and as the backchat 'shit I have my penis erected' - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I don't consider myself as physical human body when believing an erection as perversion, perversion that only can exist in my mind as beliefs, so:

I commit myself to push myself to express myself sexually with a partner agreement if I see a physical empathy in and as a moment of physical contact with the partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear a women noticing my penis-erection as trying to evade contact to not lose her due to having an erection, without realizing that there's no self-consideration as the physical when we suppress ourselves because of fearing to lose a woman for making her being pissed of at my erection and rejecting myself because of having an erection, and within that, without realizing that it doesn’t make sense a woman rejecting me because of having an erection, because the erection is a physical reaction to contact that I can establish as an agreement with a partner so, there's no point in trying to go against the physical, rather checking if there's some mental reaction that produced the erection, so:

When and as I see myself trying to evade contact because of fearing a woman noticing my penis-erection - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I suppress myself as physical expression when evading contact to not lose a woman.

I commit myself to be aware through breath how it feels the physical-sexual-contact with a partner within an agreement of expressing ourselves sexually.

So, I realize how we fuel our self-interest searching through our fear, as the self-interest is always searching something in separation from ourselves to generate a positive experience within ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the fear of a woman noticing my erection to derivate pleasure as a point of showing her my erection as the desire to have sex, without considering myself as physical expression as contact-empathy, rather as a positive experience as the opposite and suppression of the fear of her noticing my erection, where obviously there's no consideration of sex and physical contact as oneness and equality, rather the women as an object to fulfill my own self-interest based desires.

When and as I see myself deriving pleasure with a woman as suppressing my fear of she noticing my penis-erection - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I do not consider the physical contact as physical empathy and expression when using it as a vehicle to fulfill my fear based desires.

I commit myself to step-out to a person that is not my partner if a notice myself having an erection, and slow myself down through breath and physical awareness of my erection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the erection as something incorrect/horrific, without realizing that an erection is a physical expression and response to a physical stimulus, so:

When and as I see myself judging my penis for being erected - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I judge myself as life as the physical if I judge my penis, thus I judge the physical itself as oneness and equality when judging myself because of having an erection.

I commit myself to develop self-physical and self-direction within my sexual expression, assessing how my erection/excitation was triggered, if was by physical contact with a partner, or by thoughts/images.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having sexual interaction without taking the initiative, because of believing that I am in a inferior position if I do not take the initiative, without realizing that we are one and equal as life as the physical, so, taking the initiative isn't being superior/inferior, rather expressing physical empathy and affection in and as the moment with a partner, and that there's obviously a attempt to control woman with being dominant, which shows and indicates the fear of man of being inferior to the woman, so:

When and as I see myself fearing to have sexual interaction without taking the initiative - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I disregard myself as one and equal when judging myself as inferior for not taking the initiative and that there's no difference between woman and man, because we are the same, the physical, life.

I commit myself to enjoy the physical-sexual-contact with my partner, being here breathing and aware of every physical action and feeling, and to know each other through self-initiative as self-sexual-develop in terms of see different forms to enjoy sex with the partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the man has to take the initiative with a women because is superior/dominant, without realizing that there's no equality in believing the man as superior/dominant, as life is equal and one as who we are as the substance, the physical, so this shows the self-interest point of seeking to control the woman, where's no consideration as oneness and equality as free self-expression.

When and as I see myself believing that a man has to take the initiative because is superior/dominant - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I disregard life as oneness and equality as the physical when judging the woman as inferior, and I realize that I not consider myself as

I commit myself to make a sexual agreement within a partnership agreement with the consideration of self-initiative, so we both can have initiative to express ourselves sexually.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel pleasure within believing myself to be inferior for not taking the initiative, as a sexual-slave, without realizing that that there's no consideration of oneness and equality in separating from myself through an energetic experience of pleasure and based on a self-judgment as a sexual-slave as inferior, where obviously there's no consideration of ourselves as the physical, rather as slave/master, where obviously there's the self-interest point of pleasing a women to make her happy and not lose her, and that not lose her is a point of in fact not lose the sex opportunities with her, which shows the in fact use of the woman as sexual servant, where's no consideration of practical living in and as a relationship, where sex can exist as part of the agreement, yet, isn't the primary point as supporting and living with partners as ourselves.

When and as I see myself believing myself as sex-slave and a woman as sex-servant - I stop and I breathe. I realize that is an abuse to myself diminishing myself to get into a self-interest position of being sexual-slave of a woman, and within that the hide intention as using woman as sexual-servant, and within this point, there's no consideration at all of myself and my partner as one and equal as life as the physical.

So, I commit myself to serve our physical enjoyment through establishing communication of how we can better our sexual expression within a partnership agreement.