In the past, I would like to smoke weed, drink alcohol/beer, and smoke cigarettes, and when I found Desteni, at the beginning, I tried to change the people instead of changing myself, standing up - and what happened within that, after some time, I isolated myself because I realize that I was bored of that kind of life, I mean, not bored for the weed or alcohol or cigarettes, rather the routine, like, always trying save the people, and obviously there were not results, so, I believed that I was too late to make a difference - obviously within the point of separation/trying to save people, because I talked about spirituality and stuff like that, so was a point of believing 'shit, I screwed up, if I would not speak about that, maybe they would change', and I felt regret for what I spoke, AND, the other dimension for isolating myself, was because I defined myself according to my friends, and everything just fell down because now I was in 'another tune', I mean, I realized that was required to stop my participation, so, the expectation about myself was being important/recognized, the future projection was my friends starting their processes, the fear of failing again in trying to save them or push them to process, and obviously there I believed that was failure, when in fact failure doesn't exist because we direct ourselves here, so failure can only exist as a projection. And I removed myself from my participation to not have to face my addictions and my friends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to save people from the world instead of saving myself in terms of changing and correcting and aligning myself into and as what is best for all, due to seeking importance and recognition to be the savior of the world and be honored, without considering that what we have to honor is in fact life itself so, we are life, thus we must honor ourselves aligning ourselves into and as life as oneness and equality, where we don't need to save people, because we cannot be saved from anything, because everything that exists here is the consequence of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and exist as.
When and as I see myself wanting to save a person - I stop and I breathe. I realize that what I seek for is in fact being more than life, being important and recognized, so I do not consider life as equality when trying to save people, and I also do not support myself to stand here as breath and live as oneness and equality when trying to get a result through my behavior / words.
I commit myself to understand and consider - when trying to save someone or push him to start the process - that we inevitably must face our consequences of what we have accepted and allowed so there is no need to push someone to walk the process because it is inevitable, and it is our decision.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself to not have to face the life routine that I have accepted and allowed, without realizing that it is my own consequence thus it is inevitable facing it, and that stopping the routine is just a decision, where isolate is just the easy way out to not have to stop the participation and stand within my friends network, thus:
When and as I see myself trying to evade my own consequences of what I have accepted and allowed within and as my world/reality - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I try to escape from myself so that I separate from myself as what I have accepted and allowed when trying to suppress my acceptances and allowances when trying to evade the consequences, and within this that the consequences are inevitable, and that I do not support the change, as the consideration of life as equal without facing myself.
I commit myself to stand here as breath within the consequences of what I have accepted and allowed, supporting myself to develop self-direction in simply not allowing myself to be influenced by the consequences.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself due to not receiving positive output in my attempt to save people instead of saving and correcting myself, without realizing that here exist no expectation as what is here is here and not in the future, so, it is unnecessary trying to control what will happen in separation from myself, so without understanding that the output is self, as what is best for all, thus, if the input is what is best for all, thus the output will be what is best for all, and the input and output doesn't exist in separation from self, which exists in separation from self is the self interest of using ourselves to aim power, control, importance and fame to being able to have everything, thus there is no consideration as life as oneness and equality, rather inequality as success and power and control.
When and as I see myself expecting positive output from what I speak/do - I stop and I breathe. I realize that what I seek within that expectation is in fact have control and power to rule the earth, thus seeking importance and fame and superiority, where no life is considered as life is oneness and equality.
I commit myself to remain here as breath when expressing myself through words and / or doing physical applications.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that is too late to really make a difference in terms of changing/saving people because of having talked about spirituality and how reality works, without considering that the only way to really save the world is saving ourselves as we are responsible for everything that is here, thus we decide to change, no one and nothing can make us decide, and within this, the only way to really know how existence works is knowing ourselves thus every belief about how reality works is not real, is just information and knowledge that cannot be proven if we don't know and understand we we work and exist as the mind, thus
When and as I see myself believing that I can make a difference if I save people - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I justify my real intentions of have power and control over the earth within believing that the difference is saving and changing people, thus I do not support myself in really change and take responsibility for myself as everything that exist here.
I commit myself to support myself to align my expression as what is best for all as life, assessing if what I communicate is in fact a real fact as the living word, and if it really support and assist life as equality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel regret because of believing that if I would not speak about spirituality and how reality works, maybe the people who I spoke would change, without considering that the change itself is a decision and that we are the ones that decide, and within that that the decision doesn't depends on anyone and / or anything rather self, where we must stand up by ourselves and no one can do it for us thus I cannot change or save people, we must decide so.
When and as I see myself believing that if I would not speak about spirituality and how reality works, maybe the people who I spoke would change - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I suppress my real starting point in trying to save people instead of taking responsibility for the personality that activated that kind of attempt to save / change people if I believe that the change resides in what I could do in the past, thus, I do not consider that the change is here as self.
I commit myself to show that the only way to really get know as self about how reality works, is through understanding ourselves as who we are as the mind, forgiving ourselves for everything that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and exist as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my friends and what they say about me, to within that way create myself as superior as what others see about me, without considering that I am here breathing thus that shows that there is no need to define myself according to something or someone, rather understanding that I am here and that we are everything that is here.
When and as I see myself defining myself according to what say a person about me - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I took it personally in order to see in separation from myself what and who I must be to get to a position of control and superiority, thus where there is no consideration of life as equality.
I commit myself to consider my friends as one and equal to and as myself, living the understanding that we speak who we are, thus remaining here breathing as who I really am as breath not accepting myself to perceive myself to be more or less than who I am as one and equal as life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect to be important/recognized due to showing the truth of reality, without realizing that in fact the real truth is what is the force that drives me to seek for importance and recognition, obviously self-interest, and within that, it is obvious too the fact of expecting it, in within that expectation, fearing of not having it, so, where is the self-consideration of being here breathing?, I mean, that shows how I am constantly making expectations about my reality instead of living in and as my reality, and the expectation itself is the veil in our eyes to not stop, because if we stop and we do not expect, we would realize that we are here, and within that realization, realizing what we are really doing, BUT, through the expectation we place ourselves in what we want to happen instead of being here realizing what is happening.
When and as I see myself expecting to be important/recognized for showing how this reality function - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I search a position where I can control life and being upon the money system to have what I want, and within this, that I do not consider life equally and myself as the opportunity to really change myself and make a change, rather just taking the easy way to get what I want = abuse life.
I commit myself to bring myself back to breath when I see myself going into an expectation of being important or recognized when speaking or doing something, and instead continue expressing myself breathing here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as the future projection of my friends and family members walking their processes to be recognized as the one that make them decide to walk their processes, without considering that walking this self-responsibility process is in fact a decision, and that the decision doesn't depends on anything or anyone rather self, and that obviously this projection is the way to manipulate myself to try to save people or push them to walk their processes, where there is no consideration oh that in order to really decide to walk the process, we must see by ourselves what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be/exist as, thus no pushing or saving will make us decide, because it is in fact a point of creating resistance and friction, and what resists, persists, so
When and as I see myself projecting myself into the future, being recognized for making a person deciding to walk the process - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I do not consider that we must decide by ourselves to walk this process, rather my self interest point of being more than others in order to control them, and that what I really am creating is a resistance by friction within the person, where I do not support life as equality, rather my own self interest.
I commit myself to give support and assistance under and as the consideration of that I am not pushing a person to walk the process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failure in trying to save people or push them to decide to start their processes due to seeking people deciding to start their processes to get in a more than them position, obviously without considering that to be more than a person implies inequality, and that deciding this process is in fact deciding equality, so I do not support equality if I try to push them to start the process, and within this, that is obvious the possibility of failure, because failure can only exist if I search for a result instead of being the result as the living example of change as the process, thus:
When and as I see myself fearing to fail in trying to save or push a person to start his process - I stop and I breathe. I realize that my own starting point is trying to seek importance and recognition to influence them and have what I want, and what I really am fearing is in fact not having what I want, and that only can exist if I project myself into the future instead of being here, so:
I commit myself to express myself as the living change as the living word, no matter the context, thus participating in this world normally, so stopping to trying to save or push people, rather standing as a human being that express himself and care the words as self from separation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that failure exist due to separating from myself from here as breath through future expectations and projections to get what I want and desire, without considering that I am here in every moment of every breath and that I can see the consequence of my own egomaniac disorder as the money system, where inequality reign this world when only a few have power and control over us, yet, we are not different from them, is just that in order to a superior person to exist, a inferior person must exist, where both inferior and superior are seeking the same, we just accommodate our reality to drive ourselves into constant expectations to not be here and consider ourselves as equals, rather to keep running blindly to have all the power in our hands to satisfy and fulfill our self interest, instead of sharing it as equals.
When and as I see myself believing that failure exists - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I blind my eyes believing that failure can exist to not really see that I am seeking for power and glorification and importance and control to be more than life, to be more than what is here, thus I do not support myself to really live and express myself as equal and one in and as what is here as life.
I commit myself to stop seeking to be god in separation from myself, so assessing my starting point of every word and every action, and just stopping no matter what if I realize that my starting point is control, power, glorification, importance.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself to not having to face my friends, addictions, and reality, so blaming them for not getting a position of importance and power and control, without realizing that I only escape from what is inevitable, because inevitably I need to enter the matrix and make a stand, thus the real change is changing our starting point, not escaping, because we will face inevitably what is here, as is what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and exist as, thus isolation itself is not wanting to face what we have accepted and allowed: our relationships, our habits, our addictions, our responsibility, and that it cannot remain for ever, the time will inevitably come, and we will have to face our own isolation, so:
When and as I see myself isolating myself - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I try to escape from myself, the consequences, my responsibility, my habits, my addictions, I mean, what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and exist as, to just make the illusion in my mind of that everything it is fine, when it is not, so:
I commit myself to stand within and as the matrix, to face what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and exist as, and within this standing, not accept and allow myself to participate in what I participated in my past, in terms of my addictions and behavior habits with friends and family members, rather remaining here as breath in every moment, and bringing myself back to breath no matter what.
I commit myself to face every resistance of standing within and as the matrix, as I know that is just my self interest to be fine, instead of taking physical responsibility.
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